Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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