she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
