The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
