What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
