I wish I only lived at night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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