he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
