So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
