I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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