problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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