Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
