You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
