I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
