You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
