So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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