I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
