I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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