it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Non-Jews are for practice
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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