just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
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