i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
