I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Someone came in the potted fern
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
