K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
