Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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