we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
