hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
