AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
