Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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