The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
