I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
