Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
