Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
