I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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