I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize