Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
