Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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