Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
