I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so let's talk penis.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
