I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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