The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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