3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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