too bad you live with your parents still
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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