Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
how does that bad decision feel?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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