would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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