Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
