Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
