sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
