Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
