YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
