my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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