i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
