it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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