Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
