An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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