How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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