I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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