Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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