weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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